How to Draw a Cartoon Dick: The Unnecessarily Useful Guide

The quick answer: draw two circles side by side, then a rounded tube rising from between them, and finish the top with a curved line. That is the whole thing. Everything below is about making yours the one people remember.

What you need

Anything that makes a line. On DrawDick that is the brush (called Pencil Dick on a computer and Pencil on a phone), a blank canvas and no account. You can download what you draw without signing up; you only need an account to submit a drawing for review.

The four shapes

Every cartoon dick is built from the same few shapes. Get these right and the rest is decoration.

1. The base: two circles

   Draw two circles side by side, touching or slightly overlapping. Make them the same size, or don't: slightly uneven reads as more natural, and more natural reads as funnier.

2. The shaft: one tube

   From the space between the circles, draw two roughly parallel lines going up. Keep the lines a little wider apart than one circle. A slight lean to one side gives it personality.

3. The tip: a rounded cap

   Close the top of the tube with a rounded cap, slightly wider than the tube itself, like a mushroom that has given up on ambition.

4. The line: one curve

   Add a short curved line across the cap and a tiny line at the very top. That small line does a remarkable amount of work. Do not skip it.

Rather skip straight to the funny part? The cartoon starter builds these shapes for you with sliders, then hands them to the editor as shapes you can move, draw over or rub out.

Making it a character

A shape is a diagram. A character is a joke. The difference is usually one of these:

• A face. Two dots and a line. Change the line and you change the mood: a flat line is bored, a wobbly one is nervous, an open circle is surprised.
• Props. A hat, a moustache, a briefcase, a tiny sword. Props tell a story in one glance, and a story is what makes someone laugh rather than just recognize the shape.
• A pose. Lean it, bend it, give it arms. Stick arms are fine; they are the international standard.
• A setting. A desk, a beach, the surface of the moon. A background turns a doodle into a scene, and DrawDick has 36 ready to draw on.

Using DrawDick's tools

DrawDick's editor has a few tools that do the hard parts for you. On a phone and a computer alike:

• SymmeDick (Symmetry), under More on a phone or Settings on a computer, mirrors your strokes, so both circles come out matching.
• Condom Stack, under More on a phone, is the layers panel. Put the hat or the background on its own layer, so you can hide it or delete it without touching the character. Whatever you draw last sits on top, so draw the background first.
• Eraser fixes mistakes, and Blue-Ball Undo undoes the last stroke. Use both freely. Nobody draws a good one first time.
• Cum Cannon (Cannon on a phone) is the spray paint. Use it for shading, clouds and texture.
• Tramp Stamp (the Stickers button) adds stickers: the 24 Tramp Stamps, from googly eyes to a top hat, and a pack of emoji. They are the fastest way to add props, and Select makes one bigger, smaller, turned or flipped.
• Shape on a computer (Shapes, under More, on a phone) draws rectangles, circles, lines and triangles, outlined or filled in. A filled circle is a ball in one drag; drag from where you want its middle.

Common mistakes

• Circles too small. They anchor the drawing. Too small and it tips over, visually speaking.
• A tube that changes width. Keep the two lines roughly parallel unless you are going for a specific effect, in which case, commit to it.
• Too much detail. Cartoons work because they leave things out. Three good lines beat twenty nervous ones.
• No joke. The shape alone stopped being news some time around the Roman Empire (see the history). The joke is what you add.

Frequently asked questions

How long does it take?

The basic shape takes a few seconds. A character with a face, a prop and a background takes a few minutes, which is about as long as anyone should spend on this.

Do I need to be good at drawing?

No. Wobbly lines are part of the charm, and nobody rating it is expecting a masterpiece.

Can I draw on a photo?

Yes, with the Photo button, as long as there are no recognizable people in it and nothing explicit. The photo is checked and stripped of its location on your device before it goes anywhere.

Where can I share it?

Download it with Export & Expose, or save it to an account and submit it for review. Once an admin approves it, it gets its own page you can share as a link, and other people can rate it.